Rich people, Poor value & Thank yous

Lately, people have been telling me...look at the big picture: you're successful, you're pretty, you're fun, people love you etc. They tell me "remember that".

Well, I try and god knows I feel guilty when I realize that there are starving children in this world and here I am worrying about how I look to others. It's so superficial! I know! It's something that I struggle with. Eating disorders, in my opinion, are cries for help by people that are superficial (there's a kick in my own pants) but really don't want to be. But in my defense, it's more than just how I look to others, it's about how I feel inside.

You may wonder how some people who seem to have it all can crash and burn, be suicidal even or hate things about themselves. But I understand it.

In 1993, Ebony magazine featured a candid interview with Oprah Winfrey and it said:

"I know it appears I have everything," Oprah says, glancing around her $20 million, 88,000-square-foot film and TV complex just west of downtown Chicago. "And people think because you're on TV you have the world by a string. But I have struggled with my own self-value for many, many years. And I am just now coming to terms with it."

"As I peeled away the layers of my life, I realized that all my craziness, all my pain and difficulties, stemmed from me not valuing myself," she says. "And what I now know is that every single bit of pain I have experienced in my life was a result of me worrying about what another person was going to think of me."

During the interview, Oprah started to cry. She's real. She has money but she's real. And that's my point. I could have all the greatest things in the world but if I don't have self-acceptance, I have nothing.

I'm working on it though and I know it's hard for people to find the right words. They often don't know what to say to me in this situation...and that's ok, I can understand that their hearts are at least in the right place. There really is nothing you can say. I guess if I start complaining, it's because I need to be blogging (too much going on in my head).

I am grateful for the people that chose to stand by me as I struggle through this much-needed phase of my life.

Thank you.