The Decisions We Make for Ourselves

This morning, I woke up feeling particularly gross. It was a struggle to get out of bed at 5:30 am and get myself to the gym by 6am. I almost didn't make it but after a long internal battle, I crawled through the gym doors at 6:20 am.

After doing my routine treadmill workout, I sat down on the mat to do my usual sets of abs/push-ups....All morning I felt grumpy and I didn't want to be at the gym. I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. But something clicked as I was sitting there doing my sit-ups. I forced myself to re-think. All the negative talk I was giving myself was making me feel worse. So, I stopped.

I sat there for a minute, listening to my mp3 player compiling different lyrics in my mind. I found myself feeling like I had been in this exact position before (not literally). It's a terrible feeling to have to start all over again but I decided I couldn't be negative about it. I figured "at least I'm here and I'm doing something about it". It's these little pep-talks I give myself that keep me going.
Naturally, when I left the gym, I felt better and I remembered why I like doing physical things. At seven o'clock this morning I felt more energized than I would have if I had just slept in another 2 hours and not gone to the gym. I guess I patted myself on the back.

I think everyone has days like these and probably the worst thing I could do is just quit. On days like today, when I really don't want to do my work-out, I go easier, sometimes I only do half of what I would normally do but at least I'm doing something. And afterwards, I always feel good about not giving. Sometimes, it's hard to stay motivated when the results are invisible...but they are there, they just take time to show.

Actually, I became even more motivated today. While leaving the gym, I thought to myself about the things I don't do anymore, the things I used to love doing. Why don't I paint anymore? Why don't I do cardio-kickboxing or dance classes anymore ?! All things I loved doing and with time, they got replaced with school, work, Internet, TV... and I'll admit lack of funding on my part as well but with a little budgeting and some re-dedication, I could do these things again...and I will.

So I'm signing up for kickboxing and I'm going to make a trip to the paint store this afternoon.