Lately, I've been under a lot of pressure from work, from family, from relationships and the stress has been getting to me...but I've noticed that keeping my food intake regular (even if it means going to subway a million times because I didn't go to the grocery store) has given me the strength I needed and removed my desire to binge. It's not will-power, it's a lack of desire that's causing me not to binge and lord knows I'd be eating everything had this been a year ago, or even months ago. I guess the key to getting over an eating disorder is to stop disordered eating.So, I feel good about that. Now I'm still waiting for the weight adjustment and that's what will take the longest, I think. Like me, the body doesn't trust easily so it's still keeping a close eye on my eating pattern. It's just waiting for me to slip up: to skip a meal, restrict calories, to starve myself, to binge, or to purge. But I won't and so slowly, it will realize this is real. I can't wait to get that trust back.
No comments:
Post a Comment