Leggo my 'Ego'

Why do we care when someone doesn't approve of us?

It's all because of our ego- we all have varying degrees of an ego and we all love to have it stroked occasionally but I've realized, you have one of two choices in life: live to fulfill your 'self' or live to fulfill your 'ego'. Where your 'self' fulfillment would include things like fulfilling your passions/happiness, your health and your relationships, your ego would include seeking approvals and achievements. And which do you think can be more hurtful if not fulfilled? Your ego, of course.

Take for example, people that go to the bar just to get attention. This would be a slightly narcissistic fulfillment to their ego. But what happens when one night, they don't get that attention? If they don't feel "approved of" because they weren't picked up that night, they will feel pretty bad about themselves (if that was in fact the reason they were going out). But say, they were going out to fulfill their 'self' instead, to be happy and healthy and engage in their friendships. Then, it wouldn't matter whether or not they got picked up that night because they would have a good time so long as they were having fun with friends.

You see, it is a dangerous thing to base your life on your ego (and like I said, we all have one) because it really is just a cycle of ups and downs based on your perception of approval and achievement. Often times, this translates into being a "good" or "bad" person in their eyes leaving them with doubt and inconsistent opinions of themselves. Egos are insatiable actually, because you never have too much approval or too much achievement and so if you base your life on this, you will be going after these things endlessly, risking a lot of disappointment.

Instead, I've decided that approval from others is not going to run my life. Doing what makes me happy is what I chose to base my life on, regardless of other's opinions and if you think this has anything to do with you, ask yourself 'why ?' you think that.